February 2nd: “Sketchy Motel Room”

February 2, 2009

motelboardedup

It is this week’s comic, and it is dedicated to anyone who has ever stayed in a sketchy motel or a sketchy anything or has lived on Earth in any capacity. Ah, Earth. In many ways the least habitable of the solar system’s planets. Is it hot on Venus? Sure. But there are no idiots with bad hair who wake you up at 7am by blowing their nose with the force of 300 advanced Area 51 wind tunnels, nor are there any crazy guys with a cigarette behind their ear who cheer you up on the subway by telling you you’re “gonna die.” Great, now i’m gonna die. On Venus, or Neptune, I would not have this problem. Would I have other problems, sure. But they would not involve noise pollution or idiots or shameful bands that start with N*ck*l and end with shit.

As for me, i went to the movies for once. “Doubt” gets four thumbs up, one for each actor in the film, each of whom was individually more interesting to watch than the other movie i saw, “The Reader,” which was the kind of story that would need a Big Talent behind the director’s chair to pull it off. Sadly, it was directed by no such person, and thus had the feeling of a three hour movie rushed through in 120 minutes. One quick scene after another, loping towards the ending, the film marred further by the miscasting of the most important male role. In terms of subject matter I am the target audience for this kind of movie, and i am disappointed that it was not better executed. It was a great story, told badly. Worth seeing, but it could have been a clear Best Picture contender instead of an undeservedly-nominated near-mess. Not that i care about awards, but hey, it’s late and i’m tired and my feet are cold and this planet is sketchy.

stay beautiful,

WR

52 Responses to “February 2nd: “Sketchy Motel Room””

  1. Johnny Cobra Says:

    First one!

  2. Johnny Cobra Says:

    Nickelback really sucks

  3. Johnny Cobra Says:

    hahaha, rhino penis, really funny this week

  4. Rob Retter Says:

    Wow, I love that pause in the booming at 4:13! Where the hell have you been traveling (or living) recently, Winston? You’ve clearly had more than a little exposure to the Motel 6 Hellathon.

  5. chris Says:

    The premise of sketchy motels is wonderful because anyone immediately starts thinking and remembering and forcing anyone in the vicinity to hear stories. Well, wonderful if nothing horrible ever happened, which is fortunately true in my case.
    And the expressions on our not-sleeping fellow are wonderful (I couldn’t stop laughing at panel 2).
    But I think maybe a couple of panels could’ve been removed without harm.

  6. bachterman Says:

    hey, it’s not a motel room, it’s my bedroom!


  7. Hell, just living in a block of flats is like that.
    For me anyway.

    and yes. Hail Rhino penis.

  8. Nentuaby Says:

    Hmm, that was supposed to be a cheap motel? I got “college dorm.” It was that ramping-off-the-fridge thing that did it.

  9. Camille Says:

    Man, that looks so much like my college dorm. Poor little guy, good job on the facial expressions xD

  10. Nick Says:

    What are you doing hanging out in sleazy hotels, alone?

  11. Dolorous Clarebourne Says:

    I don’t get it. How’s this getting revenge on an ex?

  12. koynavos Says:

    awesome as always.
    the alt-text about blackadder really cracked me up!!

  13. soonmme Says:

    At a place that loud, I’d start saying crazy random shit to freak people out. :D

    Ah fun times…

  14. jan Says:

    Brilliant!

  15. Questo's Dad Says:

    If anyone wants to visit this now famous motel, it’s in Minnedosa, Manitoba. The room is pretty much exactly as shown. If the lights were on, you’d be able to tell that the carpet is conveniently coloured a dried-blood red and that the wallpaper is a lovely shade of mint green. The alarm clock tells the proper time, but won’t ring, so it’s really more clock than alarm. The fridge will chill your food to exactly one degree less than the current temperature of the room, which alternates between deep freeze and inferno.

    In the hallway, you have to shuffle sideways to get past renovation supplies which have 3 years worth of dust on them. The pool is a neon-blue cesspool of incredibly potent chemicals unsuitable for seniors, children, pregnant women, anyone over the age of 25 or under the age of 30. Predictably enough, the “hotel lobby” is in the offsale (25 luxurious square feet of plywood and two-by-fours). Please forgive me for not providing a full review; I couldn’t bring myself to attempt the kitchen.

    Well played, WR, well played.

  16. Dusty668 Says:

    Questo’s Dad, that hotel must be part of a chain as it is also in Conroy South Carolina, a few minor “Local” differences, the carpet is red clay orange, and there is NO cold setting in the room.

    The Ise Bucket shown is also too large, and does not look enough like a colander.

    Also the cartoon could have stood to have another 6 or 7 panels for smoother pacing, but that just may be me.

  17. Michael Ezra Says:

    And in Toronto, we have the Hotel Waverley at Spadina and College, right next to a Scott Mission. Here’s an account from the blog of the Atlanta, GA band, the Black Lips, who had the misfortune to stay there:

    My room was filthy. The mirror was broken, the bed was moldy looking with obvious bloodstains and cigarette burns all over. I was so exhausted i got a sleeping bag, got in with all my clothes on and tried to sleep. A few hours later I hear the roof start to creak (luckily i’m a light sleeper). Without thinking I jumped out of the bed and watched in utter disbelief as the ceiling caved in. Onto my bed. After a few big deep breaths of moldy asbestos I went to the Selmanaires’ [presumably another band's] room and slept on the floor for 2 hours or so.

    The band member goes on to recount how the next day the manager refused to give him a refund, despite the fact that he’d almost lost his life. Then he showed the manager that he’d taken photos of the room. He got a full refund.

  18. kvinnan86 Says:

    I can totally relate to this. My roommate stayed up until 3AM wating Family Guy and giggling (loudly) like a retard while I was trying to sleep, and the day came when told me not to play at 3PM because his sister was napping. I told him she can go nap at her own f**king house. So glad those days are over.

  19. Nick Says:

    Here’s a place that talks about finding dead bodies hidden under matresses in hotel rooms. Lord knows this is wear I tend to hide mine.

  20. mick Says:

    damn i just read one of these comix on cracked and got hooked i read them all tonight cant wait for more

  21. Been There Says:

    hehe… meh.
    /weak.
    maybe if you just had some more panels, and some much MUCH more words, it might have been funnier.

    Maybe.

  22. Jsone Says:

    “The German Guns” copyright S. Baldrick, 1917.

    That was just brilliant.

  23. arkonbey Says:

    I lived next to a loud person. when I confronted him he said “well, I pay rent here, too” as though I was living here for free and his rent entitled him to play his music loud at 2am on a Wednesday. My most recent neighbor barked like a seal when she had sex. My wife and I started to bark back at her whenever she got busy.

  24. geoff Says:

    It was because of the link from Sloan’s Wikipedia page that I found your comic. Now you are featured in cracked.com, a fav site of mine! Cheers!

    Thank you for taking the piss out of that other Canadian band that for some reason found a lot of success.

    Enjoy yer comic, keep up the awesome work.

  25. Icalasari Says:

    Heh. The last two panels were hilarious

  26. Jay Says:

    eighty twenty

  27. Drew_D Says:

    This is a flawless description of the last 24 years of my life. Finally, someone understands! You sir, are brilliant!

  28. Jason Says:

    Are the comics supposed to be funny simply because they have too many words? They aren’t.


  29. koynavos, Jsone: When i realized i had inadvertently included the entire text of the poem in the comic, i of course had to make the necessary acknowledgements.

    Nick: Yeah, i hide my dead bodies there too, what a coincidence!

    Drew_D: I understand all too well. All too well…

    Jason: Is your comment supposed to be cutting and insightful simply because you have a high opinion of yourself? It isn’t.

  30. Jo Says:

    Ugh, been there, done that. *shudders*. Go ear plugs! Gr8 strip!

  31. wright Says:

    Oh, does that hit home… Dorm livin’ and conversations heard from the trailer park over the fence.

    As Jo said, great stuff!

  32. donuteyes Says:

    i thought i was the only one that liked to masturbate to that song. weird.

  33. TH Says:

    hahahahaha the nickelback, oh the nickelback.

  34. Suntiger Says:

    Very funny, though not very funny to be in that situation. ;)

    Word of advice for it; military service and/or earplugs.

    If you don’t have the skill already, almost any military service will teach you to sleep anytime, anywhere, because you never know when you get a chance to do it next.

    Earplugs are an aid as well, but put you alarm clock/moblie phone close by.

    Sleep well. ;)

  35. mico Says:

    This is a nice use of c&p. Great comic, as usual.

  36. Thiago Says:

    I just read “Captain Estar goes to heaven” and I must say it´s one of the best comics I have read in a long time. However, I see you art has improved with time, so I was wondering if you have any plans of doing that comic again with your finer skills.


  37. Suntiger: I agree. I’ve been sleeping with earplugs for the last 6 years, and I can’t imagine ever sleeping without them.

    Thiago: Hey, thanks, glad you enjoyed it. I’ve definitely considered redoing or retouching all or much of the art (perhaps to entice a publisher), although there’s a number of pages that i couldn’t really improve upon in a significant way. I’ve also been experimenting with adding shading the art. The results look surprisingly good, but I’m not gonna have time to do the entire thing anytime soon, unfortunately. Never enough time for anything.

  38. Kurush Says:

    Loll.. I loved the blackadder ref. “boom booom boom boom”, hahahaha. Baldrick forever.

  39. Liam Says:

    I just read every single one of these today and I have to say: best web-comic I’ve ever come across. brilliantly funny and insightful as well as having just the right amount of “weird as shit” thrown in for good measure.

    EXCELLENT

  40. Ink Says:

    Wow. Makes a lot of sense. But in my case its the upstairs guy and his kids. It went on and on till my dad; a volunter police officer, went up and scared the shit out of them. XD

  41. Dek the Dog Says:

    Brilliant, still weird as shit, but trueish. (if that’s a word)

  42. Eizu Says:

    I’m pretty sure I stayed in that motel last weekend…it is in Michigan right?


  43. Ink: Does your dad take requests? I could use a guy…

    Eizu: It’s like wal-mart, it’s everywhere.

  44. Paulg Says:

    My own personal hotel hell was not even a hotel. It was my bedroom while I was studying (I stayed with my parents. Free board and good food.) Problem was that I shared my one bedroom wall with the neighbour’s bedroom. She was a petite 20-something divorcee with two kids and chronic insomnia. And a copy of ‘Dirty Dancing’ on video. My desk was about 30 cm away from the back of her television, separated by the worlds thinnest brick wall. So much for cramming late at night in peace and quiet. I can still quote the entire dialogue of Dirty Dancing, verbatim. She finally got out of her funk and stpped watching it at 2 in the morning, when she got a live-in-boyfriend. One of the first things they seemd to do was rearange the bedroom, putting the bed against my wall. She still had insomnia though. And so did he. Sob!

  45. A Fan Says:

    Just letting you know that you do a great job with this comic, and also that I own those same boots.

  46. Kinch Says:

    After reading and re-reading this comic as well as closely perusing the comment page, I think I can safely say I don’t get it.

  47. suizou Says:

    Aaahhhh… *sob* is right… been there…

  48. Vonthako Says:

    One of the most hilarious comix EVER! And not just of your comix, but of comics in general. I laughed so hard I literally fell out of my chair, got back up, and fell out of it again. I had to finish reading from the floor. My friends had to remind me at least 3 times to breathe.

    Also: why the fuck would someone masturbate to “How You Remind Me”? And for over an hour? (Yeah, I noticed the digital clock.)
    Out of all the songs to accompany a guy spending some quality time with himself…

  49. Amanda Says:

    he he… I love this one.
    Was that last part a parody of singing in the rain?

  50. Kaarel Kurm Says:

    This made me burst out laughing :p

  51. sadie Says:

    Goddamit, now I have that song in my head!


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