Sept. 28th: “The Coward’s Tale”

Sorry, no big laughs this week. Or something. Speaking of big laughs, a close ally of mine–my Information Minister, he knows who he is–reminded me of the TV show “The Critic” the other day. After looking around on YouTube, I encountered this brief clip, which is honestly the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life (probably). I swear to god I was laughing so hard at that thing last night… I don’t even know why. I must have looked like an idiot. Maybe that’s some kind of keen glimpse into my psyche. Or maybe I’m just demented. Anyway, I declare it to be my Favorite Thing Ever. For this week, anyway. Oh, Orson Welles…

Stay beautiful,

W. Rowntree

Sept. 21st: “Science Fair”

El comico es finito!! I am left with just scads of spare time, having finished at like 11pm this week, thus I shall fill this blog post with awe and wonder and things that go bump in the night because they’ve lost their flashlights and are trying to sneak back into the house after curfew. I wish I had a curfew. Might get these drawings done sooner.

Things I did this week:

• With the help of You, the Heroes who read this comic, It has been determined that the only word around here which is too rude to type out in full is “N***elback.” Take note, and add as many asterisks as you please. Find a ninja if you’re short a couple.
• I read that “artist” Damien Hirst continues to sell his “works” for 18 millions dollars each. Not that a shark in a big tank isn’t neat and all, but unless he gave birth to the shark then I’d have to hesitate at calling it a piece of art. Mostly I just think that 18 mil is kind of steep for something you could just catch on your own for far less money. THUS: for those looking for pieces of art, but not looking to spend 18 million, I shall be selling original Subnormality art for the bargain price of one million dollars each. That’s eighteen you could have for the price of one pickled shark, so I think that’s a pretty good friggin’ deal. Email to arrange payment or to inquire which art is available. Yes, I am seriously charging one million dollars. No, I do not expect any takers, which is kind of the point.
• I finished reading my Mom’s latest novel (actually i did that last week, but oh well), and I can objectively recommend it to anyone who likes reading (there’s lots of words in it, like my comix) because it’s that kind of book: fundamentally good. Humorous, moving, and it makes you feel better about your life. Plus it’s totally suitable for these modern times of small worlds and global villages and whatnot. Did you know that sometimes people in one country go to live in another country?! Well, it’s true! Not that you’d know it from the usual mass entertainment crud. Around here (Canada), we’re constantly being told how we’re all beer-drining hockey fanatics who like tractors and being polite when someone’s stabbing you in the face with a hunting knife. I like books that contradict this. This is a novel about Real characters, the kind of thing I aspire to write. Highly recommended. And no, you can’t figure out my real last name if you know my Mom’s name, because she writes under her maiden name! Ha!! Fools!! Anyway, this ends the only advertisement you will ever see in this space. Give birth to me and thou shall receive free press! This is a standing offer.
• Ah yes, my favorite columnist was the target of death threats and verbal abuse from Fox News because she dared to state the bleeding obvious and identify Sarah Palin as white trash. Well guess what? SHE’S WHITE TRASH!! The whitinest, trashinest, homophobinest, pro-lifinest, whitey white white McTrash that ever shot a moose, and if McCain is elected and then dies in office and then fuckin’ Wilma Flintstone becomes president then I will be moving to Jupiter at my earliest convenience before she decides to initiate the End of Days by nuking Moscow or something. I’m not American, but I am from Earth, and here on Earth we don’t put up with that kind of bullshit. I hear Jupiter’s nice this time of year. Very little snow. No tourists. No dangerous hillbillies.
• Watched some random, aeons-old YouTube video of, erm, gwen stefani when she was in high school. Back when she was a Real person. Weird shit. Apparently celebritites used to be people when they were young. Or maybe the lesson here is that they still are people. Or maybe the lesson here is that it’s definitely time to stop typing for another week.

• Cheerio, then! Be seeing you. Death threats to the usual address (mine, that is).

Awkward double handshake,

W. Rowntree

Sept. 14th: “Discovered”

Let’s have a nutritious bowl of this week’s comic. Let’s rejoice at the return of huge things of text. Let’s expect even more text next week. Let’s switch to drawing black & white stick men instead of actual drawings because it’s just so much easier that way. Then I might get the comic finished before 11:59pm for its “sunday” update. Let’s all move to the west coast so my comics are finished at 9pm or whatever time it is there now. Let’s start every sentence with “let’s.” Let’s listen to “Beautiful Midnight” while we do this, ’cause it was a good album. Let’s travel back in time to 1998 before we knew it would all end badly for the Matthew Good Band. Let’s all move to Canada so we know who the hell i’m talking about in the previous sentence. Let’s end this blog post before people start boycotting it due to oddness.

Handshakes all around,

W. Rowntree

PS: Hobo Soup is not actually made of hobos. OR IS IT…??

Sept. 7th: “Truth Ninja Strikes Again”

Comic’s done. Pressed for time this weekend due to the Virgin Music Festival this afternoon, hence the early update and the lack of huge walls of text. All this of course harkens back to the days of, uh, last year, when men were men and women were women and comics were finished on saturday and took 10 seconds to read. A step backwards? No. More like…time travel!! Exciting! Watch out for nazis coming the other way.

Or maybe I just did a shorter comic than usual.*

All the best,

Rowntree

*almost certainly.

August 31st: “The T-Shirt”

Comic’s finished once again. Goodbye summer, hello, uh, fall. Autumn. Anti-leaf festival. Septober. The Coldness. Even though it’s still 25 degrees here. Celcius. Summer Part 2.

–Rowntree